


They All Live Here Now

by AltUniverseWash



Series: Forever After [8]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Developing Relationship, Dialogue Heavy, Dreams and Nightmares, Earth-C, Established Relationship, F/F, Gay Character, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Relationships, M/M, Multi, Multiple Partners, Mutualism, Panromantic, Pansexual Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Endgame, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, RoseKanVrisRezi, Support, Supportive Relationships, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, alt-epilogue, davekat - Freeform, polyam - Freeform, vriskanroserezi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22488655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AltUniverseWash/pseuds/AltUniverseWash
Summary: Earth-C was created. The epilogues and their associated baggage never happened. Vriska Serket has returned to Earth-C. Stability has been restored.In an attempt to help Terezi deal with increasingly disturbing dreams, Vriska sets up a group support system with others who understand what she's been through. What starts as a simple attempt to help her wife turns into a complex balancing act of negotiating existing relationships, forming new ones, and discovering one's own identity and boundaries.As the relationships of Rose, Kanaya, Vriska, and Terezi become increasingly intertwined and complex, each of them must learn how to understand their needs, communicate with their partners, and move forward in the spirit of a hopeful future.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam/Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Series: Forever After [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664167
Comments: 30
Kudos: 29





	1. Peace Is A State Of Mind I Struggle With

**Author's Note:**

> While this work does touch on some somewhat heavy themes, there is nothing within that should require trigger or content warnings. The overall tone of the work is quite positive as well.
> 
> There are discussions of sex, sexuality, relationships, and other related topics. None of this is sexually explicit and should be appropriate even for a teen audience.

Night is a still place, full of calm reflection and hidden terrors. For Terezi Pyrope, it was that stillness that defined the night more than anything else. Her vision long since lost, her world was defined by the sounds, smells, and subtle movements all around her rather than the mere presence or absence of light.

When night fell, it brought a cloak down over the world. A great settling as the diurnal animals of the world took their ease and the nocturnal began their quiet ventures to find sustenance. Even the trolls of this world, originally adapted to a nighttime existence necessitated by a considerably brighter sun, had taken to living their lives primarily in the light. Outside of the major cities, night was a long, dark quiet punctuated by small noises.

Sleep often eluded her, but she didn’t necessarily mind. The respite from the constant thrum of the daytime was a welcome one.

It was part of why they moved so far away from everything. When she and Vriska Serket had been married the year before, they had settled near the incipient Carapacian Nation, hoping to spend time with their friends who were involved so heavily in setting up the tiny country.

Terezi hadn’t been prepared for how overwhelming it would be. The noise of the city they lived in seemed to press in on her every moment of every day. The night brought little relief, and she found herself growing increasingly irritable. One day, perhaps sensing the root of the problem, her wife had asked her if she wanted to get away for the weekend. So they’d packed up, alchemized a copy of the stupid flying car that Dave and Karkat used, and took a trip out to a lonely island to the south.

Getting back to the mainland was easy, and keeping in touch with their friends even easier still. Vriska could fly and Terezi had the car. They were not isolated, but Terezi had somewhere that the overwhelming  _ noise _ of the world wasn’t so bad. It smelled nice there too – the array of floral notes that came from everywhere and the fresh smell of the ocean. Not to mention the colors everywhere!

Terezi had been truly happy, and she had never felt more in love with Vriska than when she’d casually suggested after a week on the island that maybe they could just kind of live there permanently. After she got over feeling like her heart was about to fill to bursting, Terezi had basically tackled Vriska and after about a half hour it was clear that this was what was going to be happening.

It was idyllic and pleasant. Damn near perfect. Daytime was as full of activity or as calm and peaceful as she wanted. Nighttime was quiet and soft and warm. She and Vriska slept together in a bed that was far larger than strictly necessary and Terezi found herself frequently curled up on her wife’s stomach while she slept. Vriska snored a lot and made weird noises all the time, but Terezi found it oddly comforting.

But Terezi still couldn’t sleep. An hour or two at a time, then she’d be awake again and on her phone, hoping for some kind of distraction.

[GC/TT]   
GC: H3Y ROS3, YOU UP?   
TT: …   
TT: Well I suppose I am now up, despite my earnest desire to remain asleep   
TT: …   
TT: I’m sorry that came out wrong. What’s the matter?   
GC: DO YOU 3V3R... R3M3MB3R STUFF FROM TH3 OTH3R T1M3L1N3S?   
GC: JUST HOW TH1NGS COULD'V3 GON3   
GC: TH1NGS L1K3 TH4T   
GC: YOU'R3 TH3 ONLY OTH3R S33R 1 KNOW, SO...   
TT: I’m afraid that I can’t say that I do.   
TT: My own issues had more to do with the… connections I’d made.   
TT: To beings that I had no business getting so intimate with.   
TT: So no, I can’t say that I do.   
GC: 1T'S JUST TH4T 1T'S SO... R4NDOM   
GC: YOU KNOW WH4T, N3V3R M1ND   
GC: SORRY 1 BROUGHT 1T UP   
GC disconnected

Terezi placed the phone back down and scooted over on the bed to where Vriska lay. Terezi snugged herself up against her wife’s side, wrapping her arms around her and planting her face firmly in Vriska’s neck. Terezi breathed in slowly. Vriska’s hair smelled nice – still faintly like salt water from being on the beach the day before.

“Hmmm… whazzat…” Vriska wasn’t completely awake, but she turned her body toward Terezi, who smiled.

“Love you.”

“Mmmm… love… love you too…” Vriska murmured her response and promptly fell back asleep, her breathing soft and measured. Terezi’s heart was thumping and her cheeks felt hot. She was feeling a bit silly, but also… pretty happy. Generally pretty happy.

But the thoughts came anyway, unbidden and unwanted, and Terezi knew she would not soon be sleeping through them.

* * *

Terezi opened her eyes. From the warmth in the air and feel of the sunlight hitting her back through the window, she realized that she had, in fact, slept. A sheet had been placed over her and she felt a wet smudge on her neck. Wiping with a finger and giving it a quick taste…

Of course it was Vriska’s lipstick.

Vriska wasn’t in the room – Terezi couldn’t smell her or hear her and for a brief moment she felt a raw panic rising up inside of her chest. There was a world where Vriska never showed up when she was supposed to. Where Terezi had waited all afternoon in that lonely field and then walked alone back to her treehouse and waited for her destiny to finally arrive.

She was back there. The panic was boiling into something she knew that she wouldn’t be able to manage.

She was clawing at the bed now.

Everything was hard to hear.

The air pressure changed and Terezi heard a door slam shut.

“Oh shit!” Vriska’s voice was loud and clear and Terezi felt her sit heavily on the bed and there was a hand running over her back.

“Are you okay? What happened? What the shit, Rezi?!”

Terezi tried to keep her breathing under control. “God… shit… I’m good. I’m good.”

Part of her almost expected a sarcastic crack. But… this was Vriska who had spent an unfathomably long time trapped in a place of timeless forced reflection. This was Vriska who had watched the people she wanted desperately to make amends with dissolve because she didn’t quite figure things out right the first time.

“Yeah, you don’t really look like you’re good.” Vriksa placed a hand on Terezi’s forehead, sighed, then went back to running her hand over her back. In spite of herself, Terezi found the effect immensely calming.

She was starting to cry. God damn it, why was she starting to cry?

“Can we… talk?” She felt Vriska tense up. “Oh shit, no… I’m sorry. I mean, can I talk about something I’ve been going through? You aren’t doing anything wrong – I just need to tell you.”

Vriska relaxed a little. “Uh… yeah. You can tell me anything.”

“Please don’t think I’m crazy.”

Vriska laughed – a short, abrupt noise that reminded Terezi of the young troll that was always right about everything, even when she wasn’t. “Yeah, big chance of that happening, dumbass.”

Terezi laughed too, in spite of herself. She closed her eyes and let herself lean into the feeling of her wife’s hand on her back. It was nice. This was nice.

“I remember everything that happened to me. I mean… everything. All the different timelines we’ve been through. All the loops and doubling-back and weird bullshit. Not all of the details… but enough.”

She waited. Waited for Vriska to laugh or make a joke. Waited for some kind of comment, because in some ways that would be preferable to where she needed to go with this. It never came. Instead, she felt long fingers in her hair, running along her scalp and gently tugging at the deep black strands.

“I’ve tried to talk to LaLonde about it, but she’s not a Seer quite the way I am. For her, it’s more about a kind of general awareness of the way things should be. For me… it’s always personal. I don’t think this would bother me normally, but we’ve all lived so many different lives. I keep waking up afraid that I’ve slipped back into one of them… they were all… so…”

She was searching for the word. Unexpectedly, she heard Vriska speak.

“Lonely?”

That did it – that got the tears going for real. Terezi sniffled.

“Yeah… lonely.”

“I still feel like I’m there, sometimes.” Vriska’s voice was quiet – almost too quiet to hear. She sounded… ashamed of herself? It was hard to place.

“I don’t remember everything. Not even most things. But I know I was somewhere else and I know I was there for a long time. Sometimes I wake up and I think… that I’m back there. It’s hard to explain.”

She didn’t need to. Terezi knew what she meant. Terezi rolled over onto her back, taking Vriska’s hand in hers and pulling her down. She pulled Vriska in close and buried her head in her chest, under her chin. Breathing softly and tasting the faint smell of her wife’s sweat, Terezi felt grounded – centered.

“I keep waking up expecting to be all these other places. To be other versions of myself. And they’re all so… terrifying. Worlds where I killed you… worlds where I’m dying and you’re not even there… worlds where we’re both dead and we’re just sitting there and waiting for oblivion to hit. And then I’m back here, with you, and sometimes it doesn’t even feel  _ real _ and I fucking hate it!” Her chest heaved as she started to sob. Vriska softly kissed her forehead – a gesture that showed a degree of tenderness that Terezi wouldn’t have thought possible a few years ago.

“I have an idea about that…”


	2. The Fucked-Up-Timeline Survivors Fun Club

AG created the group Fucked-Up-Timeline Survivors Fun Club   
AG added GC, TT, TG, EB, GA   
AG: Okay, I started this 8ecause I'm 8asically the 8est…   
AG: …   
AG: No... not doing that anymore. This is 8ecause we all went through some shit   
AG: Timelines and retcons and Dead Daves   
TG: oh my   
AG: Shut the fuck up, Alive Dave!   
TT: Am I correct in assuming that this is supposed to be a kind of group therapy?   
TT: A session in which we will all participate and share our trauma and, in doing so   
TT: perhaps become more in tune with who we are and feel better?   
AG: Yeah, what wordy-pants said   
GA: I Think That Perhaps This Is A Very Good Idea   
TG: yo this is the dopest fucking idea since sliced bread   
EB: I think it’s a good idea too!   
TG: shit yeah, girl! Yo, TZ, you kinda quiet about this - what’s up?

Terezi looked up from the computer and over at Vriska, who was smiling and nodding in her direction.

“I don’t know… I don’t know what to say,” she sighed and groaned. “Help me!”

“Just… just talk. No one is gonna make fun of you. Hold on.”

AG: If anyone makes fun of Rezi I'll 8an them for life   
AG: This is a no-making-fun-of-Rezi 8oard   
GC: UH... H1!   
TT: I’m glad to see you on the group, Terezi. Am I right in assuming this is somehow connected   
TT: to your message to me the other day?   
GC: Y34H... BUT TH1S W4S VR1SK4'S 1D34…   
GC: SH3 THOUGHT 1T WOULD B3 GOOD FOR M3 TO T4LK   
TG: get yo mother-fuckin therapy on, Rez!   
GC: H3H3H3H3H3 >:]

* * *

[Fucked-Up-Timeline Survivors Fun Club]   
GA: I Think It's Harder For Me Because I Have No Memory Of Being In That World At All   
GA: But Also It Disturbs Me Greatly To Think That I Have The Capacity   
GA: To Lose Control In Such A Dramatic Fashion   
GA: To Be Able To Hurt The People I Love So Very Much   
GC: D1D YOU JUST M4K3 4 LOV3 CONF3SS1ON TO M3?!   
GC: YOU 4LL H34RD 1T! SH3 D1D!   
EB: You two are being silly!   
TT: I feel like that is a discussion we should maybe table for the time being.   
TT: It would be a discussion for another forum entirely. Maybe in private.   
AG: Pfff   
AG: Our m8sprits have a crush on each other, LaLonde!   
TT: This is incredibly unproductive   
AG: Oh, are YOU flirting with ME now?   
AG: You've got a cute 8utt, LaLonde! Anyone ever tell you that?!   
GA: I May Have Mentioned It Once Or Twice   
TT: We’ve far exceeded the original bounds of what this was supposed to be about.   
TT: You’re being ridiculous again.   
TG: I mostly just wanna see how this plays out   
EB: Are you all getting married now?! Can I be the maid of honor?!   
GA: Ironically I Have Found That This Has Sufficiently Distracted Me From   
GA: My Original Thoughts That I Am No Longer Feeling Quite So Down   
GA: I Do However Have To Question The Motivations Of The Serket-Pyropes   
GA: At Least With Regards To Their Intentions Towards My Wifes Butt   
GA: …   
GA: Oh My God That Did Not Come Out The Way I Thought   
GA: I Am So Sorry   
TG: well shit, Maryam just let it all out there   
TG: open and honest up in this bitch to the fucking maximum-A   
TG: A for ass in this case I guess   
TG: Because y’all are a bunch of perverts   
TT: I am immediately and permanently regretting my decision to participate in this   
EB: I think that you’d all be cute together!   
TT: June you are not helping in any way, shape, or form!

* * *

[Fucked-Up-Timeline Survivors Fun Club]   
GC: SOM3T1M3S 1 H4V3 4 H4RD T1M3 R3M3MB3R1NG WH1CH R34L1TY 1'M 1N.   
GC: M4YB3 TH4T SOUNDS STUP1D, BUT 1TS TRU3.   
GC: 1 W4K3 UP 4ND 1 DON'T KNOW WH1CH T1M3L1N3 1'M 1N.   
GC: 4ND 1'M 4LW4YS SO SC4R3D 1T'LL B3 ON3 WH3R3 VR1SK4 1S D34D.   
GC: OR WH3R3 SH3'S ST1LL GON3…   
EB: I don’t think that sounds stupid. I was really scared when I went back to fix everything   
EB: that I’d get back to the main timeline and everything would still be the same.   
EB: Like I didn’t do things right.   
EB: Sometimes I still feel like maybe I missed something, and everything will suddenly turn…   
EB: We’ll end up in some darker version of the timeline because of something dumb I did.   
AG: Can it! I'm hugging 8oth of you dum8asses so much right now   
TG: yo this is some therapeutic-ass shit up in here!

* * *

“She actually does have kind of a nice butt…” Terezi muttered it sleepily, clutching onto Vriska’s stomach and smiling. Vriska snorted.

“Oh Jegus! Seriously?”

“You said it first…” Terezi poked her wife’s ribcage lightly and felt her shiver. “Some doors can’t be closed…”

Vriska smiled. Terezi felt her shift her weight and settle into the bed.

“Is it helping?” Vriska’s voice was soft again. “The Survivors’ Fun Club.”

“Yeah… you know, it kinda is. I still feel like… like everything is still right there. But…” She wasn’t waking up in the middle of the night as much. She felt more at peace with herself. She was no longer feeling like she might slip into another reality without warning.

“I feel better, lately. Vriska?”

“Mmmm?”

Terezi sat up and planted a kiss directly on her wife’s mouth. She stayed there for a while, savoring the feeling of it – the way Vriska’s lipstick tasted and how soft her lips were. Eventually she pulled back, hearing a quick intake of breath from Vriska.

“Thanks.”

* * *

[Fucked-Up-Timeline Survivors Fun Club]   
TG changed the name of the group to VrisKanRoseRezi Shipping Dock   
AG: Oh fuck you, Alive Dave!   
TG: I’m just speaking truth to power   
AG changed the name of the group to Fucked-Up-Timeline Survivors Fun Club   
TG: your problem is you’re not fun anymore   
EB: I don’t know if that’s really true   
TG changed the name of the group to Rose LaLonde Butt Appreciation Club And Also June And Dave   
AG: Ha fucking ha ha   
TG: truth to power   
EB: I actually kind of agreed with them on the whole butt thing   
GA: I Do Not Understand Why We Are Still Having This Conversation   
GA: It Has Been At Least A Month And A Half Now   
TT: You are all terrible people (except Kanaya) and I hope you all burn in hell (except Kanaya)   
AG changed the name of the group to Fucked-Up-Timeline Survivors Fun Club Shut Up Dave

Kanaya put down her phone and leaned over Rose’s shoulder as she sat the computer and nudged her softly in the ribs.

“You do have a pretty cute butt. I’m glad to see it being appreciated in its time.” She grinned, her fangs sticking out a bit at the bottom.

“Oh stop it.”

* * *

[Fucked-Up-Timeline Survivors Fun Club Shut Up Dave]   
TG: so basically my whole thing was that I never knew whether I was one of them…   
TG: the Dead Daves, y’know?   
TG: stable time loops are such a pain in the fucking ass to maintain   
TG: kept feeling like I was motherfuckin losing it!   
TG: still wake up at night and I feel like it’s starting again   
GC: S4M3   
GA: I Feel My Experience And That Of Rose Are Subtly Different But Essentially The Same   
TT: Yeah…   
AG: Me too sometimes ::::(

Terezi reached over toward Vriska. They were both on their phones this time. Her hand brushed her wife’s thigh.

“Vris… really?”

Vriska didn’t respond. She was trying to stay quite, but Terezi could hear her starting to whimper.

“Oh… shit… when?”

She could feel Vriska shrug. “I dunno… just… I keep getting these weird flashes from other versions of myself. Or memories of things I don’t think happened… but maybe they did? This other place that I’m pretty sure was the black hole, but I can’t quite remember it. You’ve been sleeping better… I didn’t want to bother you so I’d just kind of sit there and think on it.”

“Vris…” Without saying another word, her wife just kind of collapsed onto her, shivering and hugging and crying all at once.

“I’m… I’m sorry… I should’ve told you…”

“Shit… Vris… it’s gonna be okay. You told me now. That’s what matters. You’re doing okay. You’re good. Shoosh…” Terezi held her wife in her arms until the shivering stopped.


	3. She Has This “Friend” She Sees, You See (...and truth be told the “friend” is me)

The screen was blinking. Kanaya knew she had a new message. She could see from the preview what it said, even. Still… on some level she wasn’t sure if she had the mental capacity to engage right then.

Not that she was in a bad place, per se, but it was also three in the morning and the only reason she was up was now sleeping off the night’s activities in a comfortable heap on the bed, smiling from ear-to-ear with a couple small droplets of blood still on her neck.

So, in honesty, Kanaya kind of didn’t want to ruin the mood.

Damn ashen quadrant tendencies. Wasn’t Vriska talking about how the quadrants were shit? Of course that made sense, but still. Old habits…

[GC/GA]   
GC: W3 N33D TO T4LK, M4RY4M   
GC: …   
GC: …   
GA: Yes I Am Here   
GA: My Apologies For The Delayed Response   
GA: I Was Otherwise Engaged Until Very Recently   
GC: 1'LL B3T >;]   
GC: L1ST3N 1 N33D SOM3 4DV1C3   
GC: YOU'R3 GOOD W1TH TH4T K1ND OF STUFF   
GA: I Will Admit That This Is Very Much Within My Comfort Zone   
GA: To Borrow A Human Term I Am Quite Fond Of   
GA: What Precisely Is It You Need?   
GC: …   
GC: 1 TH1NK VR1S 1S LOS1NG H3R SH1T   
GC: SH3'S S331NG SH1T FROM TH3 OTH3R T1M3L1N3S NOW   
GC: 1 DON'T W4NT H3R TO G3T HURT 4NYMOR3   
GC: C4N YOU PL34S3 T4LK TO H3R?   
GC: SH3…   
GC: OOH BOY... SH1T SH1T SH1T…   
GC: PL34S3 DON'T G3T W31RD3D OUT H3R3…   
GC: 1 TH1NK SH3 ST1LL K1ND4…   
GC: LOV3S YOU?   
GC: 4 L1TTL3 B1T   
GC: SH3'S NOT 4S GOOD 4T H1D1NG H3R F33L1NGS 4S SH3 TH1NKS   
GA: I Do Not Find Myself To Be Weirded Out By That Fact   
GA: Vriska Is Still Very Important To Me   
GA: And I Do Not Intend To Watch Her Or You Suffer When I Have The Ability To Help   
GA: I Will Talk To Her As Soon As Possible

* * *

[GA/AG]   
GA: I Will Be As Straightforward As Possible From The Outset   
GA: I Was Asked To Contact You By Your Wife   
GA: But Also I Am Doing This Because I Care A Lot About You   
GA: I Did Not Ever Stop Caring About You   
GA: If That Makes You Uncomfortable Or Otherwise Crosses Any Boundaries…   
GA: I Will Happily Refrain From Further Engaging In A Way That Does Not Please You   
AG: Oh gr8   
GA: In That Case I Apologize And Will Take My Leave   
AG: W8!   
AG: No!   
AG: Please... don't…   
AG: Please don't leave me, Kanaya!   
AG: …   
AG: Oh shit that came out wrong…   
GA: It Is Not A Thing I Was Concerned With   
GA: In Any Case Terezi Is Quite Worried About You   
GA: She Believes I Might Have Some Success In Advising You   
AG: Not sure how you figure that

Kanaya sat back from her keyboard and frowned. She glanced over at Rose, who was sitting in a comfortable chair and knitting.

“Darling… can you please come here for a moment?” Kanaya called out to Rose, who placed her knitting in front of her and walked over, placing her hands on her wife’s shoulders as she approached.

“Terezi has recently asked me to essentially act as auspistice between her and Vriska. Vriska is experiencing some rather troubling thoughts and feelings and Terezi believes I would have a chance at connecting with her. I believe that this is in no small part to my history with Vriska and, perhaps, my previous feelings towards her.”

Kanaya blew out a breath, catching a stray lock of hair that was hovering in front of her face.

“Feelings that, I am ashamed to say, I do not find myself completely without in the present.”

She felt Rose squeeze her shoulders. “Yeah, that actually kind of makes sense.”

Kanaya blinked. “Did you perhaps not hear the latter part of what I was saying? I would be happy to repeat if needed.”

Rose was laughing. Why was Rose laughing. “I hear you. You said you’ve still got feelings for Vriska. Maybe. You seem a little unclear on that, but that’s okay.”

“I… don’t understand…” Kanaya paused, fidgeted, and leaned all the way back in her chair, looking up into the shining violet eyes of her wife. “I was led to believe by your works of human fiction that you might react in a way that was quite hostile when learning that I still harbored feelings of a red nature for someone that is not you.”

Rose was still laughing. Her face was beautiful when she laughed, but Kanaya was confused. “Hey, Kanaya… do you think I’m an idiot?”

Kanaya could feel the shock on her face. “You are… perhaps the most intelligent person I know.” She was blushing furiously. “It’s… part of what… part of why I fell in love with you.”

Rose nodded. “Yeah… I am pretty great.” She winked.

“But, really, we’ve spent enough time around each other that I know you’ve still got kind of a thing for Vriska.”

“But… the human fiction!”

“Is fiction.” Rose leaned over and planted a kiss in the middle of her wife’s forehead. “In case you haven’t noticed, none of us are exactly a standard heteronormative template these days. Or did you forget the trans poly-triad that lives basically next door?”

Rose shrugged. “I guess what I’m saying is help Vriska out. If you want to do it because you feel morally obligated or you want to do it because you love her or whatever… just be honest with yourself and let me know where that’s going and we’ll kind of… y’know… figure shit out.”

“I must admit that I was not fully prepared to have this discussion today. However…” she smiled up at her wife. “I am not… in opposition to it being a discussion we have been having, and may continue to have in the future.”

“You’re right,” Rose said cheerfully. “I  _ do _ have a cute ass!” As soon as Kanaya started blushing a deep jade, Rose planted a finger squarely on her nose and turned to walk off.

Kanaya turned back to the computer.

[GA/AG]   
GA: I Do So Apologize For The Delay In My Response   
GA: I Was Just Participating In An Edifying Conversion   
GA: You Will Be Pleased To Know That You Are The Subject Of Conversation   
GA: In A Very Distinct Way These Days   
AG: ::::)   
GA: In The Interest Of Being Very Open And Honest   
GA: Which Is A Thing I Am Generally Very Proud Of For Myself   
GA: In That Spirit I Feel I Should Admit Upfront   
GA: I May Not Have Been Totally Correct In Expressing My Feelings A Year Ago   
AG: Why do I get the feeling this isn't what you originally intended to talk a8out?   
GA: I Was Asked To Talk About The Dreams And Other Thoughts You Have Been Having   
GA: A Thing I Fully Intend To Do Once I Let You Know One Thing I Think It Important   
AG: And what might thaaaaaaaat 8e?

Kanaya shifted in her chair. She glanced over at Rose, who met her gaze and smiled. She closed her eyes and this was a thing that was going to happen. She opened them again and typed, her fingers feeling weirdly heavy.

[GA/AG]   
GA: I Feel I Need To Tell You That I Was Not Completely Open Last Year   
GA: When We Spoke   
GA: I Failed To Tell You That   
GA: Perhaps   
GA: I Have Some Feelings For You Still   
GA: Of The Red Variety   
GA: Even Though You Expressed The Quadrants Are Nonsense Which I Fully Believe   
GA: I Am Saying That I Think I Love You   
AG: …

You surely made a complete and utter hoofbeast’s ass of yourself this time, Kanaya!

She looked over at Rose again and made a face that she hoped conveyed her utter distress. Rose put a finger to her lips in a “shhhh” motion that came across as almost ludicrously soothing and she smiled. Kanaya reminded herself to pen a treatise on how the Writers of All Human Fiction Were Horrible Liars Except Rose LaLonde Who Is A Saint.

[AG/GA]   
AG: …   
AG: Wow   
AG: ::::)   
AG: Really?!   
AG: This isn't some weird game?   
AG: Is this really Rose talking?   
GA: I Assure You That It Is Not   
GA: I Have In Fact Already Disclosed This Fact To Rose   
GA: Who Was Far More Supportive Than I Was Led To Believe Would Be The Case   
AG: Okay   
AG: Holy shit   
AG: I feel like we need to 8e in person to talk this through   
AG: like, all four of us   
AG: 8ecause this is NOT where I thought this was going

As Kanaya was trying to process all this in her head, she saw another chat window pop up.

[Fucked-Up-Timeline Survivors Fun Club Shut Up Dave]   
TG changed the name of the group to The Repressed Feelings Club Plus June and Dave   
TT: Your timing could not have been more exquisite, Alive Dave   
TG: oh shit now you’re doing that?!   
AG: Hey Alive Dave   
AG: Some of us are 8aring their fucking feelings here   
TG: shit, yo? For reals?   
GC: D4V3, YOU R34L1Z3 VR1S 4ND 1 L1V3 TOG3TH3R, R1GHT?   
GC: 1 C4N PR4CT1C4LLY SM3LL WH4T SH3'S TYP1NG   
GC: 1 DON'T H4V3 4 PROBL3M W1TH 1T B3C4US3 1'M NOT 4 B1GOT L1K3 YOU!   
TG: that was fuckin low my main dog   
TG: shit Rezi, why you gonna do me like this?   
GC: >:]   
TG: okay okay okay… I know when I’m laying it on too strong   
TG changed the name of the group to Goodtime Feelings Fun Club (Featuring June and Dave)   
AG changed the name of the group to STFU Dave Featuring Shut Up Dave (June is cool tho)

Kanaya found herself giggling and she looked over to see Rose smiling at her.


	4. A Long And Somewhat Uncomfortable Conversation with June Egbert

It wasn’t so late that Rose felt bad about calling June. At this point, she saw the woman as basically a sister-in-law. Is that what your alternate-reality mother’s polyamorous partner is? Rose wasn’t sure in the technical sense, but she was also quite sure she knew what the fuck she meant. She opened the video chat and connected to June.

“Rose? What’s up?” June’s usual cheery voice was on the other end almost immediately and her grinning face filled the phone's screen.

“Hey, June… do you have a couple minutes to talk?”

“Sure, I’ve got time – no, Rox, that one’s mine and those’re Callie’s – sorry, Rose, just getting some laundry sorted. I’ve got time.” There was the sound of feet on stairs over the phone and a door closing in the background. “What’s up?”

Rose took several deep breaths. She wasn’t sure where to start with this.

“Promise me you won’t talk about this to anyone… at least until I figure some shit out.”

June  _ Mmmhmm _ ’d into the phone and that was good enough.

“So… you know how we’re all talking in the Survivors’ Club. Well… I guess Vriska’s been having some dreams and shit about other timelines… shit she experienced and forgot about… that kind of thing. Terezi asked Kanaya to talk to her because she figured that maybe Kanaya could reach out to her in a different way than Rezi could.”

Okay, so far, so good. Rose figured she was doing a good job summarizing everything. That was important. Context was important.

“So Kanaya started to talk to Vriska and I guess that kinda opened up some floodgates… you know… emotional floodgates. She talked to me and said that she felt like maybe she still had some feelings for Vriska and I told her that was fine… because it is. And I guess Terezi knows exactly what’s happening too because even if Vriska didn’t say anything – and I’m pretty sure she did – Terezi just seems to kind of know this shit all the time.”

Rose was studying June’s face, looking for the first traces of disgust or judgment – there were none. So far, so good.

“And now we’re going to all meet up to talk about all of this because I guess… well… that’s probably a good thing. I don’t even know if anyone actually talked about Vriska’s dreams, including Vriska. We all ended up getting so side-tracked talking about feelings and shit.”

Rose took another breath.

“And, yeah… that’s… it. I guess I wanted to talk to someone I trusted is all. Go on and tell me how stupid I’m being now, I guess. Sure… let’s go with that.”

There was a brief pause, and then June began to talk. She sounded uncharacteristically low-key.

“How do you feel about all of this?”

“What do you mean, how do  _ I _ feel about it?”

“Do you feel like anything is happening you’re not comfortable with? How do you feel about Kanaya’s feelings for Vriska?”

Rose shrugged. “She feels how she feels… and… honestly that makes me kind of happy. It’s not like there’s a rule that says she can only love one person at a time.”

June actually laughed at that. “You do realize that we’re making the rules up as we go, right?”

Rose paused and said nothing. She had not, in fact, realized that. June continued.

“We’re it. There’s no government or religion or authority to tell us how to do things. As long as everyone is okay and no one gets hurt… who cares? That’s something I realized right after we came to Earth-C… I could be whoever I wanted to be however I wanted to and no one was going to stop me.”

In retrospect, Rose realized that she had absolutely picked the right person to call about this.

“I guess,” Rose responded, “I’m just feeling a little confused. I spent so much time focusing on stuff that was so… internal. I didn’t really feel the need for a  _ relationship _ and then I met Kanaya and I was… just… so  _ in love _ with her. And she’s amazing and I want her to be happy however. And I know she’s got the biggest fucking crush on Vriska and… Vriska’s so  _ different _ than she was. In a good way, you know?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. How do  _ you _ feel about them? About Terezi and Vriska?”

“What, like  _ feelings _ wise?”

June laughed again, a sound that was so light and musical that it always put Rose at ease. “Sure. Or  _ anything _ wise. You do realize you’re allowed to feel however you want about people, right? You can be attracted to them however, or not at all. Or want to do whatever, or nothing. As long as everyone’s talking and no one’s being hurt it doesn’t matter.”

When June finished her sentence, Rose stopped to look down at the floor. She hadn’t really thought much about it. She was so focused on seeing Kanaya through on this and making sure she was happy. She hadn’t really stopped to think about what she wanted for herself.

“Oh shit… I don’t know… I mean, they’re both  _ hot _ as shit. Vriska’s changed so much I’m not sure what to think, and Terezi’s pretty much… Terezi. She’s cute. Pretty… okay, maybe a little sexy in a rough kind of way.”

“Would you want to sleep with them?”

If Rose had been drinking something, she would’ve spit it out. Fortunately she was not.

“WHAT?!”

“Uh… you know… sex stuff… whatever euphemism makes you feel better. I know you like to play around with language and all that.” June covered her mouth and Rose could swear she heard her starting to chuckle into the phone and made a mental note to throttle the woman the next time she saw her.

But that was the thing. She hadn’t thought much about it. Okay, maybe a little. It didn’t seem like an  _ unpleasant _ idea, just not one she’d really turned over in her mind.

“Oh fuck…”

“Yes, that was kind of the question.” Okay, she was doing this shit on purpose now.

“God damn it, June! I hadn’t thought about it that much. They are both very attractive… but I also feel like it would be  _ wrong _ somehow.”

“Why? Why do you think that?”

It was hard to think of a reason – it was more of a  _ sense _ .

“I… don’t have any idea. Just… a feeling.”

“Does it make you personally uncomfortable? Imagine Kanaya having sex with Vriska – how does that make you feel?”

Rose didn’t want to talk about how it made her feel. She didn’t want to admit to herself how it made her feel.

“God fucking damn it, June… I’m going to hang up now…”

“Listen, you’re the one who wanted to have this conversation. I’m telling you what you need to think about… defining boundaries and stuff.” This was so unlike the June she was usually listening to. The goofball dork wasn’t in right now – this was some full-on “The Doctor is In” Dr. June Egbert PhD MD level shit.

So how  _ did _ that make her feel? Hurt or angry? Betrayed? Mad? Slightly annoyed? No, none of that fit at all.

Indifferent? No quite. Maybe… maybe moving more toward the positive end of the spectrum.

“Okay, fine, shit… I hadn’t thought about it before. I just got so wrapped up in making Kanaya  _ happy _ that I didn’t think all this through. Is that okay? Is that what you need to hear?”

“I don’t need to hear anything, Rose. But really – does it make you feel uncomfortable? Unsafe? Betrayed?”

Why did this have to be so  _ difficult?! _ It was like she was fighting through quicksand inside of her own mind. But… still…

“No, none of that.” She still didn’t feel like she was being fully honest with her feelings.

So that’s the kind of stuff that turns you on, LaLonde? Kinky.

She cursed her stupid dumb brain and all its stupid dumb thoughts all at once.

“Okay… I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable either, you know. Just… any relationship is about communication and trust and openness, and any time you add another person to that it becomes more complex. Each person involved has to define their boundaries with every other person. That’s how it is with me and Rox and Callie – we aren’t all comfortable with the same stuff and that’s fine because we  _ talk _ about it.”

Shit. When the hell did June get so damn  _ perceptive?! _

“It’s just…” And what was it  _ just _ , anyway? “I keep feeling like I’m doing something  _ wrong _ somehow. And I know I’m being a big fucking hypocrite cause I told Kanaya that human fiction is wrong about how this stuff is wrong and now I’m feeling the same way because of internalized bullshit from years and years of exposure to… all kinds of nonsense. And it’s been  _ years _ and I still feel it.”

“I felt like that about coming out.” June’s voice was so quiet and sounded a little bit sad. “Even though no one was around to judge me or tell me I wasn’t real or valid… and I still felt like shit about it. But then I told everyone and you were all so  _ nice _ to me. You called me by my name and you never made me feel like I was faking or anything. And I realized something…”

There was a brief pause and Rose could swear she heard a sniffle on the other end of the phone.

“The old world is dead, Rose. Dead, buried, and forgotten. We’re the only ones left who even know anything about it, and we don’t have to keep letting it drag us down. I told myself that I was done with that – that I was going to live and be happy for once. I spent  _ years _ feeling like there was something wrong with me.”

Yeah, she was definitely crying. Rose wished she could be there to hug her friend.

“Seriously, Rose… years of wondering why I couldn’t just be normal. Then I realized something… I  _ was _ normal. There was nothing wrong with who I was inside. It was all the other people who wanted to jam me into a mold and force me to stay there forever. And those people are gone. I chose the family I have now… I chose all of you… you’re doing the same thing, every single day you’re alive here.”

Okay, yeah, now she was starting to cry too. Stupid perceptive smart June Egbert with her stupid weirdly smart goofball brain.

“I… I don’t know what this has to do with my question, June.” Rose said it in a way she hoped would convey that she didn’t mean it seriously. From the laugh on the other end, she guessed the message was received.

“Live your life however makes you happy. If that means living alone with Kanaya on the top of some mountain or being a bunch of disaster lesbians with Kanaya and Vriska and Terezi… go for it. Live your life.”

“Disaster lesbians?” Okay, now that seemed kind of harsh. June was laughing for real now.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Really… no one here cares who you love or how many people you sleep with or what kind of stuff you do. Just talk about it with everyone until you all feel like you’re good with the outcome and then… just live your lives.”

It was amazing what kind of basic-ass stuff wouldn’t occur to you when you were so wrapped up in trying to figure out the little details of everything.

“Hey, June… thanks for this. I’ve gotta go… you gave me a lot to think about.”

June blew a kiss at the screen. “Sure thing, sis!” She laughed. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

Rose smiled to herself. “No, it’s fine. Talk to you later… sis.” She disconnected the call and looked down at her phone. Two hours until she and Kanaya had agreed to meet with Vriska and Terezi.

“So yeah… I guess this is a thing that’s happening,” Rose said to no one in particular.


	5. Stop! DaveKat Time!

Dave and Karkat sat in the kitchen of the house they both shared, drinking tea. They seemed to do a lot of that lately. Karkat had the sneaking suspicion that Dave didn’t even  _ like _ tea very much, but without fail he always sat down when it was time and they would have several cups of the stuff and talk for a long time. Right now they weren’t talking, but it was still pretty nice. Sometimes that was best – just sit there and enjoy being near each other.

“So what do you think they’re actually  _ doing _ right now?” Karkat couldn’t control his curiosity. He hadn’t even bothered to put the tea he was in the process of drinking down before he asked.

Dave shrugged. “I dunno, babe… probably fucking.” Karkat screwed up his face as if he’d just taken a bite out of an especially horrible-tasting lemon... and then relaxed when he saw Dave start laughing. “Shit, I’m just messing with you.”

“Don’t you ever feel a bit side-tracked, though? Pretty sure the original intent of the group wasn’t to set up whatever relationship nonsense is happening right now.”

Dave shrugged and pushed up the bridge of his sunglasses. He raised his own tea cup to his mouth, the hot beverage leaving a faint trace of fog on the glasses.

“I didn’t ask to be a part of the group. I’m not saying it’s a  _ bad _ idea or anything – it’s just something that I’ve already had to make peace with. I think that’s something Vriska is still really struggling with.”

Karkat looked at his husband for a few seconds.

He’s really different than he used to be.

It was true. Dave still acted like a stupid coolkid sometimes, but Karkat was increasingly convinced that was a completely deliberate act he put on.

Hey, fuckass, maybe ask him about it since you never did!

Oh yeah! That! Karkat set the cup down.

“So… I guess I never did ask you about all that. All the timelines and dead Daves and shit. I just assumed you’d talk about it when you were ready and then you just… never did.”

Dave shrugged again. “It’s kinda hard to put it into words. It was pretty weird at first, but eventually I spent so much time dealing with keeping the time loops together that it just kinda became my life.”

“I think that’s what Vriska is feeling right now. Maybe it’s different for her since it was always  _ her _ going through the time loops, but it’s gonna take time for her to make peace with the fact that she’s always gonna have these trace memories of stuff that, in effect, never happened. Because she changed things… or helped them to change.”

Karkat had begun to drum his fingers on the table. “That’s my whole point! Isn’t all this stupid bullshit gonna throw off their… I dunno… healing process?! I thought this was supposed to be for Terezi and now it’s all about Vriska… or… someone?!”

“Shit, it’s not like there’s one right way to figure your shit out.” Dave reached out and placed his hand on Karkat’s. The troll smiled at him and found himself blushing a bit.

“Vriska started the group to help Terezi and I think it did. And maybe the others too. Or maybe whatever they’re doing right now will help them all. I don’t know for sure – I’m not them and I don’t need the same things they do. Or maybe it’ll suck and they’ll stop and do something different. Gotta figure this shit out – we don’t get a manual on this one.”

The room lapsed back into companionable silence and Karkat turned that one over in his mind.

“All I’m saying,” Dave picked up the conversation again, “is that there’s no one right way to do things. If they all figure that this is the thing that makes them happiest, sure. Why the fuck not.”

Karkat smiled at his husband, who was now leaning back comfortably in his chair.

Why the fuck not?!


	6. A Long And Cathartic Conversation with Terezi Pyrope

This was  _ not _ where Vriska had thought any of this was going when she mentioned her dreams to Terezi. Although, for whatever it was worth, those specific dreams hadn’t bothered her last night. Instead, she had an extended nightmare that involved Kanaya Maryam and Rose LaLonde laughing at her and telling her she was a piece of shit.

So that was new and different. She hadn’t even bothered to tell Terezi about it. They had made plans to meet with Rose and Kanaya later that day… to… talk things out. Vriska supposed that the diplomatic way of putting it was that she was uneasy. She was more than a little bit terrified and more than a little bit excited and those two feelings had a way of getting in the way of each other a lot. Vriska kind of felt like she needed to barf, was the less diplomatic way of putting it.

After some brief discussion, the four of them had agreed to meet in the fields near their respective houses. There was a spot Terezi was familiar with, and they could bring picnic supplies and set up and talk as long as they wanted.

Okay, when you put it that way it kind of sounds like a date **.**

Any way she tried to put it, it sounded like a date. And that… weirdly didn’t bother her at all. She still gave everyone shit on the group chats because that was kind of her brand, but cooling for what felt like almost a thousand years in a nowhere space and dealing with a disintegrating time loop that was predicated on her being just a bit too arrogant about the needs of others…

...all of that had made Vriska realize that the whole “fuck you guys” thing was kind of wearing out its welcome. And, at the end of the day, she kind of did just want to have a picnic with people that she cared a lot about. Maybe one or two or three that she loved.

Is this the part where I rank them?   
I mean… Rezi is a no-shit for sure.   
But… Kanaya is pretty fucking awesome too.   
And you had a crush on her for forever. ****__  
LaLonde… okay… I mean…   
She’s actually kinda cute, at least…

And she felt like she didn’t know that much about Rose, anyway. Although if Kanaya cared so damn much about her, she couldn’t be an entirely worthless person. And Vriska had to admit that she’d done some pretty bad-ass stuff in her life. Plus they both had the whole “light” thing going and maybe that counted for something.

Get a grip, Vriska! You are serious sitting here rationalizing your attraction to Rose… which… is a thing you just admitted you have… because you’re such a goddamn idiot...

Vriska buried her head in her palms and groaned. From around the corner, she heard Terezi’s voice.

“Almost time for your date!” She insisted on calling it Vriska’s “date” with basically no prompting whatsoever. She said it with a kind of unironic joy that actually lifted Vriska’s heart. She would die before she told anyone, but the fact that her wife seemed to whole-heartedly support this insane endeavor gave her at least a little bit of courage that it might not end in complete disaster.

“It’s not a date,” Vriska spoke around her hands. “It’s a weirdly uncomfortable thing where we talk about awkward feelings and bullshit from the past and then look really stupid while we sit there and stare at each other until someone says something even stupider and everything just falls a-fucking-part.”

Terezi poked her head into the room and grinned.

“You know it doesn’t  _ have _ to be awkward, right?”

“How are  _ you _ the one taking this so well? Did you miss the part where your wife basically admitted she’s still kind-of in love with another woman?”

“Are you planning to leave me for Kanaya?” Terezi said it with a disarming smirk that made Vriska flush deep blue.

“No.”

“Okay…” she paused, briefly. “Oooh, what about  _ Rose _ ?! Are you planning to leave me for  _ Rose _ ?! Playing the long game, eh?” The smirk had transformed into a full-on grin at this point.

“No,” Vriska muttered and looked down sheepishly.

“Huh,” Terezi said, matter-of-factly. “Well then. So…” she began to extend the fingers of her right hand into the left palm, one at a time, as if counting something out in her head.

“So… I’ve died like four times to even get to this place.” One.

“Spent four years desperately wanting you back and not knowing if you were even alive.” Two.

“Lived through several different realities to get you back here.” Three.

“And finally got here and we’re married and actually living together and no one is dying.” Four. Terezi slapped her hands together and actually  _ laughed _ .

“But you think I might be upset because you still want to kiss Kanaya? Vris…  _ I _ want to kiss Kanaya.  _ Everyone _ wants to kiss Kanaya!” Vriska wasn’t sure if that was strictly true, but the point was valid enough. Terezi walked over and planted her lips squarely on Vriska’s cheek.

Vriska looked down again. “I just… I don’t want you to feel like I don’t love you anymore… or as much.”

“Okay, I love the new insightful Vriska a lot.” Terezi placed a hand on her wife’s arm. “She thinks things through a lot more and tries really hard not to hurt her friends. It’s… it’s nice. But confident Vriska doesn’t need to take a complete back seat to over-thinking everything all the time.”

“I know that… it’s… it’s hard not to. I keep thinking I’ll screw something else up and we’ll all be back in the same horrible situation we were before.”

“Oh...kayyyyy…” Terezi’s arms were wrapped around her stomach and she felt herself being pulled in close. “But what if you  _ don’t _ screw everything up? You’ve had so much time to think about life and stew in your own delicious juices…”

Okay, that sounded more than a little suggestive!

“...and now you’re a lot more considerate. Doesn’t that make you  _ more _ great than you were?”

Vriska smiled, biting her own lip lightly. “Yeah…. It  _ does _ make me more great!” She felt a slight pinch at her waist.

“So wouldn’t it be  _ better _ if everything worked out? Wouldn’t you feel happier than if you just kept living in the shadows of how you feel?”

Vriska nodded. She couldn’t really find any fault in Terezi’s argument.

“Now hurry up and get ready! Don’t want to be late for your daaaaate!” Terezi let go of her and  _ skipped _ back around the corner to finish getting dressed.


	7. 4x Feelings Jam Super-Combo

Kanaya practically in Rose’s lap, across from Vriska and Terezi on the blanket they’d set out. Terezi was sprawled out, her head leaning against Vriska’s hip, grinning widely and sniffing at the warm afternoon air. Rose kept running her hand through Kanaya’s hair in a way that was more than a little bit comforting. Vriska…

Vriska looked nervous. Kanaya could relate.

“So, this is where we’re at…” Rose was talking first. That was probably a good thing. “We’re just here to talk to each other. Put things on the table… metaphorically, of course, since we don’t have an actual table and there are no actual things to be placed there even if we had one.”

That was cute… she was just as nervous as Kanaya felt inside.

At least I am not the only one!

“The defendant stands accused… of having  _ feelings!  _ Feelings… of  _ an almost human nature! _ ” Terezi cackled.

Kanaya could  _ feel _ Rose narrowing her eyes. “Terezi… did you just quote a Pink Floyd song? Where did you even  _ hear _ that?”

Terezi pouted. “Dave let me listen to a copy he had. You’re no fun.” But she went back to grinning and smelling the air, so Kanaya supposed that no actual hurting-of-feelings had occurred just then.

“Okay… maybe we should start by just kind of talking about how we feel about all of this… stuff that’s been kind of boiling here.” Kanaya was struck by the thought that Rose really would make an excellent auspistice, and she felt herself getting a little bit on the giddy side. “I know that troll quadrants are often in support of what we might like to call… polyamory, but I’m not sure how that informs your views on… whatever this is turning into.”

“The quadrants are a bunch of fucked up shit.” That was Vriska. She said it quietly, but with a surprising degree of forcefulness. She was looking down at her hands quite intently and seemed basically unaware of anything else.

“Alternians made that shit up – it wasn’t some naturally occurring thing. To keep us all boxed in. Everyone gets a set way to do things – everyone gets to feel like things are neat and tidy and it’s all a fucking lie.”

Kanaya couldn’t help herself. “I… agree with Vriska.” Vriska shot her a look that was equal parts shock and embarrassment. The two both flushed their respective blood colors and struggled not to make eye contact.

“The quadrants are a ridiculous system in the first place. They over-simplify the relationships between parties and encourage a singular way of thinking about personal fulfillment. In this way it is similar to what Rose has described with the human concept of heteronormativity – instead of thinking about what works for each person as a  _ person _ , we are always encouraged to think about how we can fit everything into the pre-defined structure.”

Terezi laughed. “Right on, Kanaya.” She extended a hand in a thumbs-up gesture without lifting herself from her (apparently quite comfortable) position against Vriska’s hip.

The conversation lapsed into a brief, somewhat awkward, silence before Rose finally broke the tension.

“All this feels a bit… mechanical… I don’t think it matters so much how we define everything. How do we actually  _ feel _ about all of this? About each other?”

There was another silence. Everyone was looking around but kind of avoiding eye contact (except for Terezi, who was still grinning and smelling stuff).

Finally, Vriska spoke.

It was quick. It was quiet.

“I still have a huge crush on Kanaya and when she told me she thought she loved me I almost lost my shit…”

Everyone heard it.

Kanaya’s face was  _ on fire _ . It started at her cheeks and blossomed out from there. She put her hands to her face, fully expecting to feel almost feverish at this point. Terezi was actually  _ laughing _ and had shifted her weight to put her arms around Vriska’s waist. Vriska, who was very pointedly avoiding making eye contact with anyone at this point.

She really  _ had _ changed. The Vriska who’d gone into that black hole probably would’ve played it off as a joke or something like that – if she even said anything. The Vriska who came out on the other side… Kanaya was pretty sure she meant it. For some reason, the sincerity was making her flush even deeper.

There was a comforting tug at the base of her horns and Kanaya looked up to see Rose smiling.

“There’s nothing wrong with this,” she said softly. Kanaya doubted it was loud enough for the others to hear, especially with Terezi giggling up a storm. Still, she smiled back at her wife. Vriska looked more uncomfortable than she felt right then, so maybe that was something to consider.

“Look,” Vriska was talking again, “I know I don’t have any right to say anything. I know I’ve been horrible in general… but I also wasn’t lying to you about my feelings. I just… I think maybe I wasn’t being entirely honest with myself in the past and – shit, maybe I was internalizing some of that quadrant fuck-shittery too.”

Even a year out, Kanaya still wasn’t quite used to hearing Vriska talk like this. It was a strange experience. A little bit unsettling at times. Maybe a lot bit attractive too.

Oh why did I have that thought in particular?

Yeah, she was starting to blush deeper again. He face had decided it was going to externalize every single emotion she was feeling like a rank traitor.

“So…” Vriska trailed off, obviously trying to pick her next words carefully. “Maybe… Kanaya… if you wanted to go on a date or hang out of something sometime that would be… nice. I mean, if you’re cool with it… if everyone is cool with it.”

Still not a side of Vriska she ever expected to see. Terezi was still giggling, which kind of helped to take the edge off. Rose was being immensely supportive.

Kanaya breathed in slowly, filling her lungs with the warm day’s air and holding it. This was different. But  _ different _ was definitely not the same as  _ bad _ .

She breathed out. Slowly.

“Okay.” She saw Vriska’s eyes widen and her cheeks colored. Kanaya couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I have already made it plain how I feel about you, Vriska. It has been a while for all of us since our days on Alternia… for you considerably more than the rest of us. I am willing to accept that you are speaking genuinely, from your heart, and that you are no longer possessed of some of your less… desirable qualities.”

She fidgeted with her skirt.

“In fact, I believe it is this growth that has rekindled certain dormant feelings I may have had for you. I do not want anyone to think that I am being insincere or that I was concealing information from those I care about.” She glanced quickly up at Rose, who only shook her head slightly and smiled. A tension that Kanaya didn’t even realize she was holding released and she felt immediately better.

“The verdict is in!” Terezi was still grinning, practically shouting. “The plaintiff and the defendant will go on a date! There will be smooches!” She was making kissing faces and laughing and Kanaya wished briefly that she could have such an easy-going approach to all of this.

Vriska looked mortified, but she was also smiling.

“Counsel will be kept apprised of the dating situation so as to ensure no one is having their feelings hurt or doing anything they aren’t comfortable with!” Yes, she really was committed to this bit.

As Terezi continued to make jokes and play around, Kanaya closed her eyes and let the feeling of the sun on her skin wash over her – that felt good. Rose was rubbing the base of her horns and that felt good. She’d finally told all the relevant parties – out loud – how she was feeling inside and… that felt pretty good too.


	8. Slightly Out-of-Sequence Frivolity

[STFU Dave Featuring Shut Up Dave (June is cool tho)]   
TG changed the name of the group to Dave Rulez!!!   
TG changed the name of the group to Dave Strider Super Cool Fun Club   
TG changed the name of the group to Dave Strider and the Lonely Junes Club Band   
EB: I’m not lonely!   
TG: it was a joke June   
EB: I know, but I’m still not lonely   
TG changed the name of the group to Dave Strider and the Not-Lonely Junes Club Band   
EB: Thanks! :B   
TG: sooooo   
TG: kinda quiet around here   
EB: I think Vriska and Kanaya are dating   
EB: Or Vriska and Rose and Kanaya and Terezi   
EB: They’re still figuring out the details   
TG: now I’m feeling boring as shit   
TG: KK and I just strait chillin up in here   
EB: Do you want something different?   
TG: no…   
TG: just feel like we’re kinda being boring ass squares   
TG: or some other old timey grandpa language that grandpas use   
EB: Then that’s fine!   
EB: They’re not doing this to be exciting   
EB: They’re doing it cause they all feel okay with it   
EB: It makes them happy   
EB: Just like you being with Karkat makes you happy, right?   
TG: …   
TG: shit yeah   
TG: J-E-to-the-gegbert laying down the hammer of motherfuckin TRUTH in here   
EB: lol stop it   
TG changed the name of the group to Church of June Egbert - PREACH THE TRUTH   
EB: oh jesus…   
EB: I’ve gotta go

* * *

[Church of June Egbert - PREACH THE TRUTH]   
AG: Okay, WTF is with the group name now?   
AG: Dave I assume this was your 8ad idea?   
TG: i’m just the messenger for the truth of our lady and saviour June   
AG: Hold on let me read 8ack a 8it   
AG: …   
AG: You're right, Dave, it does make us happy   
AG: Also it's NONE OF YOUR FUCKING 8USINESS WHAT WE DO   
TG: okay okay okay   
TG: yo I did deserve that righteous fire   
TG: but hear me out vrisk   
TG: hold up   
TG: hold up   
TG: …   
TG: did you get to touch RoseButt yet?   
AG: …   
AG blocked TG from the group

* * *

[Church of June Egbert - PREACH THE TRUTH]   
GC: 1 JUST W4NT3D TO S4Y TH4T 1 4PPR3C14T3 TH1S 4 LOT   
GC: …   
GC: W41T, WHY D1D D4V3 G3T B4NN3D?   
GC: …   
GC: D4V3 YOU'R3 4N 4SS   
GC changed the name of the group to L3G1SL4C3R4TOR COUNC1L CH4MB3RS - CLOS3D M33T1NG

* * *

[L3G1SL4C3R4TOR COUNC1L CH4MB3RS - CLOS3D M33T1NG]   
AG unblocked TG from the group   
AG: Can you 8ehave now?   
TT: What did he actually do to get banned from the group?   
TT: I haven’t been following the chat much.   
GA: I Believe That He Made One Too Many Rude Comments   
GA: With Regards To The Specific State Of Your Posterior Muscles   
TT: Oh, I see   
TT: Dave, shut the fuck up already   
AG changed the name of the group to Dave Shut the Fuck Up Already


	9. In With A Gentle Breeze

Rose had originally retreated to the upper balcony of her house to give Vriska and Kanaya some degree of privacy. She’d stayed out there far longer than expected – well past the sun had finished its transit of the horizon and the moon had risen. The night was clear and pleasant, with a slight breeze coming in over the trees.

Peace was something that had been somewhat elusive in Rose’s life. A turbulent childhood had transitioned into a teenage life full of hellish conflict. A pact with dark gods from beyond. Death and rebirth. Godhood. And finally her role in the creation of this new place they lived in – a place that was supposed to be a new beginning for all of them, and an escape from the demons of the past.

But the demons had followed her through that door. Constant nightmares and the ever-present desire to drink. Rose shuddered to think what would’ve become of her if she’d insisted on fighting that battle all by herself.

Part of her knew that there were versions of the world where she  _ had _ tried. And failed. She didn’t quite remember those moments – more of a  _ feeling _ that she got. But sometimes, when she slept, the dreams still came to her. They showed her other worlds… worlds where she’d thrown the love and support of her wife and friends out the window and paid dearly for it.

“Hey.” Rose hadn’t heard Terezi come out onto the balcony and had nearly jumped when she heard the troll’s voice behind her. She turned and saw Terezi standing alone, smiling slightly.

“You mind if I join you?” Rose shrugged and motioned to the space next to her. Terezi walked up and leaned against the railing next to Rose, leaning in a bit closer than was strictly necessary to have a conversation.

“Are you… okay?” Rose asked, a bit put off by the interruption of her thoughts and not sure where this conversation was going to go.

“Yeah… I’m good.” Terezi punctuated it by swinging her hips and bumping into Rose with a short laugh. “I just wanted to give the lovebirds downstairs some room…”

She paused. Her smile disappeared. She breathed out – a heavy sigh that didn’t make it sound like she was “good” by any possible definition of that word.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Rose found herself reaching out and pulling Terezi in toward her. The troll was shorter than her – just barely – and fit nicely in the space between her shoulder and neck. Terezi made a happy “Hmpf” kind of noise.

“Is it bothering you that they’re spending time together?” Rose asked softly.

“Weirdly… no.” Terezi stopped and seemed to be carefully considering the words she was choosing. “I’m actually really happy to see this working. Vriska seems really happy. Kanaya is a fucking  _ doll _ . Vriska isn’t acting like I’m less important, and I’m actually getting to know a lot more about Kanaya. But also… I guess…”

Rose could feel Terezi shifting against her.

“I guess I kind of don’t understand why any of you put up with me. You’re all a bunch of  _ goddesses _ and I’m just… me…”

Terezi paused and Rose heard her breath halt. “Oh shit.”

“Oh shit shit shit… I… ah… I meant Vriska and Kanaya. I wasn’t trying to… shit shit shit…” Rose was sure that if she pulled back right now she would see an extremely flustered Terezi. She didn’t do this. Instead, Rose leaned into Terezi and drew her closer.

“It’s fine. We love you.”

“LaLonde… can I tell you something?”

Here it comes, LaLonde – the “I only love you” love confession   
What’re you going to do?!

“Sure,” Rose could feel Terezi relax when she heard that.

“I’ve never exactly  _ told _ anyone this before but…” She stopped, and Rose could’ve sworn she heard a tiny sob. Terezi was tensing up again.

“I don’t really  _ care _ about… about the physical stuff that I do with Vriska. The sex and everything, mostly. I love being close to Vriska – I love spending time with her – I even love holding her and kissing her. But… I think I mostly do that other stuff because she likes it. And I like that she likes it but… I just… I don’t  _ get _ it like she seems to. It doesn’t make me feel  _ bad _ … shit, it feels pretty damn  _ good _ …”

“Just… doesn’t really feel like something I  _ need _ like I’m supposed to...”

Okay, she was definitely crying now. “I’m sorry… I just… I feel like I might be  _ broken _ sometimes.”

Rose held Terezi closer – the troll didn’t move to pull away from her.

“I don’t think you’re broken, Terezi.”

“Why?! I’m just this stupid dork in her twenties who dresses up and plays with stuffed dolls. I thought all that stuff looked cool when I was a stupid wriggler but now… I’m a grown-up and I don’t even care one way or the other if I have sex with my wife and… doesn’t that mean something is  _ wrong _ with me?!”

“Are you unhappy being who you are?”

Terezi sniffled, but she didn’t respond right away. Instead, she kind of clutched Rose’s shirt and swayed slightly.

“No… I don’t feel unhappy.”

“Have you told Vriska how you feel?”

“Not exactly. She never pushes anything, and if I say I’m not feeling like it or I’m not comfortable she always listens. I think she knows that… she used to be kinda pushy about stuff in general. I don’t think she wants to go back to being like that. But… sometimes I still kind of feel like it’s something I’m  _ supposed _ to be doing rather than something I  _ want _ to be doing, and that bothers me.”

Terezi sighed.

“Also… I dunno… I guess maybe part of me was thinking that maybe she’d like having someone who was more into that kind of stuff in the first place. That… actually seems like a really good solution. I just don’t want her to forget about me in the process.”

Rose shifted her arms, sliding them around Terezi’s waist.

“You said you remembered all the various dead-end timelines, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Did you ever get the sense that Vriska was going to just kind of forget about you?”

There was no specific response, just a kind of relieved sigh. Rose felt warm and comfortable with Terezi nuzzled into her side.

“Part of me – when I first heard about how Kanaya felt about Vriska – felt like she wouldn’t have room in her heart for me anymore. But then I realized something… our feelings aren’t some finite zero-sum game where there’s only space for one at a time. It’s possible to love more than one person the same amount. Making sure we spend time with each other… all of the logistical stuff… that’s the same thing that anyone who has any kind of relationship with more than a single person has to deal with. Our partners shouldn’t define our whole existence in the first place – that’s no way to live and too much burden to place on anybody – they should enhance it and make it brighter and more interesting.”

Terezi had peeled herself away from Rose’s shoulder and was facing up at her. Her fingers went to Rose’s face, delicately tracing the lines of her nose and cheeks, finally brushing her lips ever so softly.

“LaLonde… Rose…” her lips were parted. “I’d… really like to kiss you, if you don’t mind. Just kiss…”

Rose blinked, quite deliberately.

Not where I was expecting this to go.

Terezi’s eyes were closed and she had her head back slightly. Her small nose was screwed up in a way that Rose couldn’t help but find endearing.

What’re you doing, LaLonde?

Her heart was beating quite fast now. Quite a bit faster than she thought it should be beating.

Oh fuck it.

“Okay.”

Rose closed her eyes and leaned in. Her lips met Terezi’s and it was more hesitant and lighter than she expected – almost fragile. As Terezi leaned into the kiss, she kept her hands on Rose’s face, thumbs tracing faint lines on her cheeks.

Terezi slowly moved back, breaking contact and letting out the breath she’d apparently been holding the entire time. She was smiling – not her usual shit-eating piranha grin, but a tiny, heartfelt smile that spread up into her red eyes.

“Oh shit… it really  _ did _ taste like cantaloupe…” barely a whisper, but Rose heard it clearly enough that she felt a lump in the back of her throat. Terezi still had the same smile. She really was beautiful.

“Rose… I’ve gotta get back inside. But… can we do that again sometime, please?” Rose was looking down at Terezi – her face was illuminated by the light coming in from the house and the moonlight from above. Her raven hair perfectly framed her rounded, gray face with its adorable little nose and (apparently quite kissable) lips. Rose found herself reaching out to run her own fingers on Terezi’s face, quite unconsciously. The troll blushed.

“Yeah… I’d like that.” Rose said the words and Terezi separated herself softly and turned to walk back inside. As she was crossing the threshold to the house, she turned and blew Rose a kiss with a wink.

Oh shit.

Rose’s fingers went to her own lips – the tingle of the kiss was still lingering there.

I think I just fell in love with Terezi Pyrope.


	10. Moonlight on the Balcony

Okay, Serket, you’re good.   
You’re soooooooo good.   
Just gonna check in on LaLonde and play it super cool!   
You don’t feel way the fuck out of your league at all!   
In fact, you are completely sure of what you’re doing!

Vriska opened the door to the balcony quietly and slipped outside. Rose didn’t turn around, but she motioned towards Vriska when the door opened.

“Hey… come over… I won’t bite. That’s more Kanaya’s thing.” Even from this angle, Vriska could tell she was smiling. So that was probably a good thing.

“Terezi back inside?”

Vriska walked up to the railing and leaned forward. “She and Kanaya are downstairs talking right now. She said that you and her… kissed… and then she got kinda weird and quiet so I figured I’d give her some space and let her sort through whatever.”

A bit of hair was dangling in Vriska’s face and she batted it aside in a way she desperately hoped came across as casual.

“That’s not why I’m here though. I wanted to ask you something.”

“Lot of that going around tonight,” Rose replied with a lopsided smile. Vriska made a little  _ pfff  _ noise.

“How do you actually feel about me, LaLonde? Like, in relation to this thing we’re doing now?”

“Vriska…” this was followed by a bit of a pause.

Shouldn’t have asked her that!   
That was so fucking stupid!

“I guess… it’s complicated.” She finished without fanfare, then seemed to think better of that.

“No, you deserve an actual answer.” She paused again and Vriska wasn’t sure if she was trying to stall to soften the blow of what she was about to say or if she just hadn’t given this a whole lot of thought.

“I mean, I think you’ve got a lot of amazing qualities. You’re quite physically attractive and emotionally you’ve grown so much in the last five years… I know it wasn’t just five years for you, but from our point of view.”

“I feel like I’ve just gotten to really know you over the last year. And I like you… a lot. And Kanaya  _ really _ likes you, obviously. So does Terezi.” Rose was looking up into the sky, at the moon.

“The thing is… I’m not sure exactly how I feel about you completely. Not in general, but specific to the thing we’re doing right now. I’m still not exactly sure what I feel comfortable with and how far I want to take things between you and I.”

Shit! That’s what I was afraid of!

Vriska put her hands together in front of her, wringing her palms.

“Fuck…”

“What is it, Vriska?”

“That’s… kind of where I’m at with you. I can see why Kanaya loves you the way she does, and Terezi’s apparently got a bit of a crush on you and that’s cute as shit… but I guess I’m still kinda figuring out how I feel.”

“I mean… shit, LaLonde, you’re pretty cool and hot and smart and all… and I would  _ not _ kick you out of bed…” Rose turned beet red at that one and Vriska grinned. “But I guess I’m still working on whether or not there’s anything more than  _ oh look she’s pretty hot _ between you and me.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” Rose leaned in a bit and Vriska shifted to bump hips with her. They both laughed.

“Honestly… I’m glad that things worked out this way. It… could’ve gone so wrong.”

“You’ve said something to that effect before, but I never asked for any details. If you don’t mind… could you elaborate?”

She was worried that one day Rose was going to ask her this. To ask for details on what she remembered – which was, truthfully, not as clear as it could be. But she’d seen what had happened in the other timelines. In dreams. In memories that were hers – but also weren’t quite hers either. Faded echoes of a different way of approaching things that had failed.

“You kept drinking. I guess it was the dreams that were getting to you… or maybe something else that you weren’t dealing with. I was never clear on the specifics, but I know you drank a  _ lot _ and I guess one time you lost it and hit Kanaya.”

Rose’s face was one of pure shock – her mouth was hanging open and her eyes were wide with a dawning look of terror.

“Yeah… I know. It wasn’t great. In that timeline, Kanaya left you and you… you didn’t take it very well. Shit shit shit… are you sure you want to hear the next part?”

Rose nodded, silently.

“I was there when June found your body… well, that was one version of things. I have no idea why your immortality broke down – that’s not something I remember. Just… seeing you lying there and June was just… screaming. I couldn’t deal with it. And when I looped back again you’d been dead for a while and Kanaya…”

Her eyes were burning. Tears were bubbling up from underneath. The memories were jumbled and often hazy, but they were clear enough.

“Kanaya just… she lost who she even was. I was watching a lot of this from that other place – I couldn’t get back. Rose… she… I saw her fucking kill Terezi. But… at the same time it  _ wasn’t _ her. It was like a version of Kanaya that  _ I _ made through my own stupid fucking decisions.”

Oh yeah – the tears were doing there thing now. Vriska’s eyes burned and she felt like she was going to choke. She felt a hand around her back, up on her shoulder, and Rose was pulling her down into a hug. Vriska closed her eyes and let the stuttering sobs come out.

“I know you started the support group for Terezi specifically, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve the same kind of support. There was a time when I thought Kanaya would hate me for what I could potentially become – or for the things that still existed inside of me. She’s not like that… she saw something else in me and loved me for it…”

“I think she did the same for you.” Rose took a step to the side and looked directly at Vriska. Vriska found herself grinning in spite of the tears.

“So what you’re saying is you don’t mind that I love your wife too, LaLonde?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m saying. Also… I like you a lot, Vriska. Just not sure if I know you well enough to say I love you… not quite yet.”

“That’s fair. So… no kiss for me then, I guess?” It was a joke. Vriska was joking. Rose turned red again.

“Well… maybe just a small one… as a trial run.”

Vriska leaned her face over towards Rose and closed her eyes, waiting for a quick peck on the cheek. Instead, she felt a pair of soft lips brush her neck, right below the base of her chin, then pull away, leaving a faint trace of warmth.

Vriska felt her brain temporarily short-circuit.

“LaLonde?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Vriska.”

This time it was Rose who excused herself and left the balcony to go find Kanaya and Terezi. Vriska stood there, leaning against the railing, and smiled to herself.

Fuck!

Vriska put her fingers to her neck – either it still tingled or she had a hell of imagination. Maybe a little bit of both.

She wasn’t in love with Rose LaLonde. That would be stupid – to fall in love with someone after one kiss on the neck. But she also felt like maybe she couldn’t rule out the possibility of that happening one day anymore.


	11. The Right Honorable Dr. Prof. June Egbert PhD MD Esq.

[AG/EB]   
AG: Heeeeeeeey, June   
AG: You got a minute to talk a8out some stuff?   
EB: Sure thing, Vriska! What’s up?   
AG: So Rezi is still 8eing weird   
AG: She keeps acting like she wants to talk   
AG: 8ut she never comes and actually SAYS anything   
AG: I'm feeling like I was 8eing over8earing now…   
AG: help????????   
AG: …   
AG: also I think I might kind of…   
AG: want to make out with Rose LaLonde…   
AG: just throwing that out there   
EB: okay…   
EB: So that’s a LOT, Vriska   
EB: Lucky for you, Dr. June Egbert is in!   
AG: Oh jegus we're really doing this huh?   
EB: You bet!   
EB: You really need to sit down and talk to Terezi   
AG: shit   
EB: No, not shit   
EB: I think she feels like you don’t care   
AG: ????????   
EB: I know she acts pretty weird and prickly   
EB: But… there’s some stuff you need to hear from her specifically   
EB: And I think some stuff she really needs to hear from you   
EB: Please talk to her as soon as you can!   
AG: Yeah okay ::::(   
AG: This stuff is soooooooo hard!   
EB: Switching gears   
EB: Have you actually talked to Rose about this?   
AG: No   
AG: It didn't really come up   
EB: After she kissed your neck, you mean?   
AG: OH SHIT

* * *

[TT/EB]   
TT: June, if it wouldn’t be a bother I have a matter I’d much like to discuss.   
TT: In your capacity as a most adept therapist, apparently.   
EB: Dr. June Egbert Esq at your service!   
TT: I am quite certain that designation is typically reserved for lawyers...   
TT: although I suppose it also doesn’t matter much, this being a world we created.   
EB: Yeah! 8B   
EB: So what’s on your mind, Rose?   
TT: So I have a somewhat delicate matter I want to discuss with you regarding recent events.   
TT: Specifically recent events occurring at the house I share with Kanaya.   
EB: Your big date thing? Yeah!   
TT: Ah…   
TT: Yes, the “big date thing” is a good way to put it.   
TT: In any case, I may have taken certain… overly bold steps which I am not sure if I regret or not.   
TT: Specifically I believe I may or may not have kissed Vriska   
TT: Specifically I kissed her on the neck   
TT: Rather suggestively   
TT: …   
TT: And I’m not entirely sure WHY I decided to do it. I suppose I got caught in the moment.   
EB: That doesn’t sound like…   
TT: Also I kissed Terezi   
TT: On the lips   
EB: Okay, so that still doesn’t sound like…   
TT: I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with Terezi.   
EB: Okay, so… uh…   
EB: Did you kiss anyone else recently?   
TT: I mean, Kanaya… but I don’t feel like that’s particularly relevant to the specifics here.   
EB: Have you talked about what’s okay behavior and boundaries-wise?   
TT: We have… a little. I mean, maybe not in a formal rules-based way   
TT: But there’s a good general understanding of who’s okay with what now   
TT: It’s an evolving process.

* * *

[AG/EB]   
AG: W8, what?   
AG: You know a8out that?!   
EB: Vriska! You know that a Right Honorable therapist cannot disclose her patients’ info!   
EB: That is like the number 1 rule of being a Professor Doctor!   
AG: Okay, that sounds like hoof8east shit   
AG: Also... WHAT?!   
AG: …   
AG: What did she say a8out me?   
EB: I don’t recall saying anything about a specific person who gave me this information.   
AG: NO ONE ELSE WAS THERE!   
AG: Just the kisser and the kiss... kissed? Kissee?   
AG: Me, dum8ass! The one who got kissed!!!!!!!!   
EB: I can say that I would’ve advised such a person to talk to their partners   
EB: Healthy boundaries and such   
EB: But also so no one feels like they’re being left out or neglected   
EB: Which brings us back around to the topic of Terezi   
EB: Who you should be talking to very soon   
AG: FUUUUUUUUCK!   
AG: Okay Eg8ert I'll talk to her!   
AG: You're worse than fussyfangs   
AG: (pro8a8ly not as good a kisser either)   
AG: :::;)   
EB: Vriska   
EB: Doctor Professors are immune to both flattery and attempts at embarrassment   
EB: It’s part of our professional training

* * *

[GC/EB]   
GC: H3Y JUN3   
GC: C4N 1 T4LK TO YOU 4BOUT SOM3TH1NG S3NS1T1V3?   
GC: PROM1S3 YOU WON'T L4UGH?   
EB: I swear on my oath as a Right Honorable Doctor Professor Therapist I will not!   
GC: 1... C4N'T T3LL 1F YOU'R3 JOK1NG   
EB: 8B   
EB: Seriously, what’s up?   
GC: SOM3T1M3S 1 F33L L1K3 1 H4V3 TO H4V3 S3X   
GC: NOT TH4T 1 W4NT TO…   
GC: SOM3T1M3S 1 WORRY TH4T VR1SK4 WON'T LOV3 M3 1F 1 DON'T   
GC: …   
GC: 1 KNOW TH4T'S STUP1D WR1GGL3R NONS3NS3   
GC: BUT 1T'S HOW 1 F33L 4ND 1 DON'T KNOW WH4T TO DO   
EB: Have you talked to Vriska about this? Like, at all?   
GC: NO…   
GC: 1 JUST TOLD L4LOND3... ROS3…   
GC: …   
GC: 4ND TH3N 1 K1ND4 M4YB3 K1SS3D H3R   
GC: ON TH3 L1PS   
GC: NOW 1T F33LS L1K3 M4YB3 1T W4S 4 DUMB 1D34   
EB: Okay, wow   
EB: Hold on… I’m really stretching my MD license (which I totally have) today   
EB: …   
EB: In my professional opinion   
EB: you need to talk to Vriska   
GC: WH4T SHOULD 1 3V3N S4Y?   
EB: The truth. Just tell her how you’re feeling   
EB: She either loves you for who you are or she doesn’t   
GC: BUT... TH4T F33LS L1K3 1T COULD HURT... 4 LOT   
EB: Pretending to be someone you’re not hurts too   
EB: A lot.


	12. “We need to talk” Gives Me Anxiety

She didn’t  _ want _ to have that conversation with Vriska – she was, in fact, quite terrified. She loved Vriska. She loved the life they were building together. She was even coming to love what they were building with Rose and Kanaya. The last thing she wanted was to have all that smashed in front of her.

You’re broken.  
I don’t love you anymore.  
I can’t be with someone like you. 

It didn’t  _ matter _ if it didn’t make any sense – it all seemed so totally  _ real _ to her. Even her skills as a seer were drawing a blank. It was like there was this complete blank spot near her feelings on this and she couldn’t figure out how it was going to play out. So there was only that paralyzing anxiety that kept gnawing at her guts.

Terezi sat in the living room and read, quietly. She was mostly able to pick up the print by feel – an ability she relished. Sometimes the words because unclear and she would tentatively lick the print, able to taste what was written on the page. It made other people uncomfortable sometimes – but truthfully most of the ones who would’ve had an issue with it were long since dead, so Terezi wasn’t particularly concerned.

A current of air moved into the room and Terezi instantly recognized familiar footsteps. Suddenly she was  _ very _ concerned. Her throat closed – her guts tightened into a knot. She heard Vriska’s voice…

“Hey… so… June said I should probably talk to you.”

Terezi swallowed. “Y… yeah. Doctor June said I should talk to you too!”

There was a heavy  _ pooomf _ as Vriska landed on the sofa. Terezi felt an arm around her shoulders.

“Is this… okay?”

Terezi nodded.

“So… Rezi. Uh… you’ve been acting kinda weird and distant lately and I was wondering… did I do something to hurt you?”

Not exactly the opening she was prepared for. New Vriska was still taking some re-calibrating of expectations.

“No. You didn’t do anything to hurt me.”

“Okay… uh… so… do you mind telling me what’s going on? I know you kissed Rose already – you fucking  _ told _ me. I don’t have a problem with that!”

“No, that’s not it.” Terezi squirmed uncomfortably. “I’ve got something to talk about and I don’t want you to make fun of me for it.”

She heard Vriska start to say something, then stop.

“Can you promise me that, please?”

She felt Vriska nod next to her. How was she going to do this? She could try to explain her feelings – maybe give some context? Maybe try to explain why she felt the way she did?

No, fuck it. Direct attack!

“I don’t care about having sex. Like, at all. It doesn’t interest me and I mostly do it because it makes you happy and I love you.”

“Oh shit! Shit! SHIT!” Vriska had pushed back a little. “Did I? I didn’t? I’ve been making you do something you didn’t want to? Shit!” Okay, maybe she could’ve eased into it a bit better. Oh well.

“No.” Terezi put her arms around Vriska’s waist and hugged her as tightly as she could. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t feel unsafe with you. It’s just… I’ve been thinking that maybe it’s something we could do a little less often. Especially now that we’ve got this thing going with Rose and Kanaya.”

“I still like being close to you… and kissing you and holding you and stuff. And I don’t  _ mind _ it. It’s just that… I dunno... “

She stopped to think how to explain it.

“It feels like  _ work _ sometimes. Like if you weren’t hungry but someone asked you to eat a piece of cake. Maybe you could do it… it would taste good… but you wouldn’t be all that into it, and if they told you to stop or not to eat it – that wouldn’t be a big deal and you’d be fine with it.”

Vriska wasn’t pulling away in disgust. She wasn’t making any horrible noises of anger or yelling. She wasn’t saying anything. Her heart was beating a little bit faster than normal, but this was going better than expected.

“I love you  _ so _ much. This isn’t about  _ you _ – this is something I’ve always felt. I just… I’ve never felt comfortable enough with someone to talk about it. I just… really…”

And it was time to start crying. No avoiding it now – Terezi felt the lump in her throat burst and she actually  _ sobbed _ like a little wriggler.

“I just really don’t want you to stop loving me!” She started bawling and buried herself against Vriska’s side.

Terezi had gone into this prepared for anger. She’d been prepared to be hurt. She’d been prepared for Vriska to yell or chastise her for not saying something sooner. She was prepared for Vriska to make fun of her.

What she was not prepared for was tenderness.

Vriska held her closer, pulled her head in gently, and whispered softly in her ear.

“I love you.” And then Vriska kissed her cheek and cradled her in her arms, gently rocking back and forth on the couch. The horrible knot in her throat loosened. The crying slowed and stopped. She could breathe again. Vriska kept holding her. Kept rocking gently. Terezi could hear her humming something under her breath – some unwritten melody.

It was a few minutes before Vriska spoke again, her voice still soft and quiet.

“I should’ve asked you what was wrong before. I’m sorry for not doing that. After everything we’ve been through… after all the horrible things I’ve done… the last thing I want to do is hurt you anymore.” Vriska put her hands to Terezi’s face and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead.

“I know you’ve been through a lot of changes,” Terezi said, not moving from her spot leaned against Vriska. “You’ve been really good these past couple years of making me feel safe and loved. I don’t want you to think this is because of something you did.”

“No, I get it… it’s part of who you are. Yeah… trust me, I  _ get _ that.” Terezi supposed that was certainly true, all things considered. “I can… check how you’re feeling about stuff before we do it. That’d help, right?”

Terezi nodded.

“And… I’m not gonna be upset if you’re not in the mood or you want me to back off.”

Terezi nodded again. Her turn to speak.

“That sounds good. If you… if you want to do stuff with Kanaya or whatever that’s fine too. We all agreed to this – I don’t feel like you’re doing anything wrong and I don’t want you to feel like you are either.”

“Okay… yeah. Uh… Terezi?”

“Hmm?”

“Seriously… I’m not gonna just stop loving you. I don’t want you to think that.”

Terezi smiled. “Okay. I’m not gonna just stop loving you either, dumbass.”

She could feel Vriska smile back. Terezi reached out, grabbing her hands towards Vriska.

“Vris! Give kisses!”

She pursed her lips and felt Vriska lean in and kiss her right on the mouth. It was gentle, then less-gentle… but it felt so goddamn good. Terezi let that feeling linger – let herself get caught up in it. Let it wash over her and flush out every trace of the anxiety she’d been feeling before.


	13. Last Call

[Dave Shut the Fuck Up Already]   
GA: If I Might Make A Suggestion   
GA: I Believe That This Group Has Perhaps Outlived Its Original Purpose   
GA: That Is To Say I Think It Should Perhaps Be Disbanded   
GA: In A Sufficiently Somber Fashion As Befits The End Of An Era   
EB: RightHonDrProf June MD PhP DDS concurs!   
EB: It’s been like six months now!   
AG: Yeah fuck it   
AG: 8urn this mother fucker down!   
GA: That Was Not Precisely The Mood I Was Trying To Convey   
GA: But Yes In Essence   
GA: We Will Be Burning This Mother Fucker Down   
GC: 1 F33L L1K3 TH1S H4S H3LP3D 4 LOT   
GC: NOT WH4T 1 3XP3CT3D   
GC: BUT 1 4PPR3C14T3 1T   
GC: 1 LOV3 YOU 4LL OF YOU SO MUCH   
GC: …   
GC: …   
GC: 3V3N D4V3   
TT: I also feel that this group has served its purpose.   
TT: It would be best to allow it to go gracefully into the good night.   
TT: To whit   
TT: Let us burn this mother fucker down.   
AG: Well that's that!   
AG: 8urning this mother fucker down!   
TG: yo wait a minute!   
TG: y’all ain’t even gonna change the group name back?   
TG: SOMEONE blocked me from making changes…   
AG: Nope!   
AG closed the group Dave Shut the Fuck Up Already

* * *

Early Summer had been traded for mid Fall – the day was still pleasant, but it had an edge of a chill to it now. Kanaya sat bundled up in a purple-and-green sweater that Rose had knit for her. On the hills all around her, the color of the foliage was burning brilliant orange, red, and yellow. The leaves had changed spectacularly that year. Beneath her, the picnic blanket was spread out again on the same hill they’d met on four months ago.

It was, she admitted, configured a bit differently than it had been. Rose was lying on one of her thighs. That was similar enough to what she’d been used to. Vriska was lying on the other though, and that was relatively new. Terezi was sprawled between the two of them, holding hands with Vriska and with her legs tangled up with Rose’s in a way that had no right to be as comfortable as it apparently was. She was wrapped in a bulky blanket and looked almost impossibly comfortable.

There was no agenda this time. No reason to be here other than that they’d all agreed that it would be nice. Terezi (who, it turned out, was a hell of a cook) had brought food for everyone. Vriska had brought a large bottle of sparkling grape juice. She didn’t say anything about it specifically, but Kanaya appreciated the gesture to Rose all the same. She was, in fact, deeply grateful. No one made a big deal out of anything – they just put down the blanket, ate a bit, and ended up kind of heaped up in a pile after they were done.

The first month had taken some getting used to, but it was smoother now. Things felt more natural and seemed to happen more organically. There’d been a couple more discussions of boundaries – a couple more feelings jams. No one was getting hurt, but everyone felt a lot more comfortable talking about what they needed.

It was certainly more complex than it had been with just her and Rose… but Kanaya reminded herself that  _ complex _ didn’t mean  _ bad _ – just requiring a little bit more care and maintenance.

And the payoff was worth it. Everyone seemed… better. Terezi seemed vastly more comfortable, feeling able to communicate when she didn’t feel okay with something just as much as when she did. Vriska was communicating better – learning how to read her partners and adjust to their needs. Rose was opening up more, closing herself off less, smiling a lot more.

And Kanaya felt like she was at the warm heart of it all. The Alternian idea of relationships might’ve somewhat supported the idea of having more than one partner, true, but it also encouraged competition and generally segregated each partner into their own box.

But this was so different. Kanaya never felt like she was being fought over, nor that she had to fight the others for anything. Everyone got the love and attention that they needed, and they worked together to enrich each others’ lives rather than competing to see who could get the most out of it and run away.

Would it last like this forever? She had no way of knowing. Three of them were definitely immortal, and she suspected that Terezi probably was too, honestly. Forever was a long time, and on a long enough timeline, everything diminished to zero…

But that wasn’t really her takeaway from all of this. Something eventually – possibly – fading out didn’t make it less important. The leaves around her didn’t suddenly become less beautiful because they would eventually fade. And that, Kanaya had told herself, was how she was going to live her life.

She ran her hands through two different sets of hair – one golden, one ebony – and smiled to herself. Vriska had her eyes closed and was murmuring softly. Terezi looked like she was about to fall asleep. Kanaya looked down at Rose and gently placed a hand under her cheek. Rose looked up and smiled as Kanaya bent down to kiss her.

“I love you… I love all of you…”

Rose returned the kiss, lingering at the end as she sank back down to lean on Kanaya again. Kanaya noticed that Rose and Vriska had, at some point, reached out and linked hands. Kanaya sighed to herself, happily, as she closed her eyes and drank in the rays of the afternoon sun.

The late afternoon was stretching into what would be a beautiful sunset. Soon the stars would be out. The four of them would probably get closer – huddle up for warmth and comfort – and gaze up at these stars that were unfamiliar to human and troll alike. Together they would gaze up in wonder – together on a journey that was uncertain in its destination, but unlimited in its promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! I know it's a bit on the longer side and there's not much action to it, but I genuinely hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Please consider leaving kudos or a comment if you enjoy this work! I will read all comments and will try to respond to them as appropriate!
> 
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> 
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